although i am tired, i cant sleep. haiz... bad ....
anyway, just finish watching "Frankie Starlight" on tv with my housemates, haha. nice, hrt-warmin show. today had been a lazy day for me.....
went to sch to hand in assignment, den after that, came back slack arnd, den went to sch to meet for project due next week, kinda dun feel stress though. hmmm....
weekend is here, and i dun hav programs on... sound funny rite? yeah, i rem back home, either i am working, or i am out of the hse, along orchard road, bugis, marina square... u name it.... or even the nearest Jurong point. haha.... here, i dunno, lazy to go out.... haha... or maybe is goin out alone... haiz.... watever....
there is still that tinge of loneliness, but i gotta change myself, and learnt. it is a hard process, realli, and i dun like a single moment of it. i dunno how to describe but, yeah.
tryin to be optimistic abt all the situations, like goin out alone will not require me to wait for ppl, go whereever i wan, do watever i wan.... it can pass thru sometimes, and sometimes not. it is a choice that onli me myself can make, a big choice.
i love jogging alone, along the path that i always take, from behind the hostel, into the neighbourhood, den endin at the park next to hostel. i will always stop there for a breather, fresh air, cooling down myself, den dashed back to hostel.... own time own pace.... i make the choice of jogging alone, coz after a few times with frenz, and the incident of gettin lost.... i dun wanna drag anyone into any situation that may make me guilty. i rather face it myself. the lone ranger approach.... sometimes, it helps.... tinkin that way.... tellin myself that i live for myself, and no one else. facin tings by myself, doin tings by myself, talkin to myself, laughin to my own jokes, everytin myself. wat a pathetic me?....
that day, steph send me a word of wisdom portrait, mainly talkin abt choice, well, i was seriously touched, it may not mean anytin to anyone, but to me, well, just touched.
i tot thru the words that were in there, i choose...
i choose what i tink is wat i wanted to do, even if it goes wrong, i onli got myself to blame, coz i make the choice myself. cool rite? den i will stop blamin everyone and everyting arnd me. haha.
well, guess i need to try to grab some sleep, after all, is alreadi 3am... hmmm... nitez peeps
Considered for a second about our love at {9/10/2005 02:49:00 AM}
