Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Temporary Resident
okie, that is my current status at the moment. surrendered my house keys today. nth emotional abt it. coz after all, it is a student housing. at first tot i will be wandering arnd, house hopping. coz my application for hses got rejected.
however, a fat cute angel came into the darkness of despair. i got a temporary place to stay for the time. nice cosy bed, nice cosy hse. but of coz, i am still seeking my place of solace.
this episode of moving hse made me realise true colours of some of the so-called frenz i had. disappointed, realli. after all that i tink i have given, though not expecting much in return, yet in the midst of desperate dire, they didnt lend out their hand.
as much as i dun expect those that will help, takin into consideration that i seldom help them too, they offered the most help. of those that i had helped and ask favour, super lotsa lame excuses came up.
the saying is true, "the true colours onli comes up when u are in a dire state." well, i learnt it in not a so hard way, which is a blessing in disguise. but having to say that i seen thru quite a number of ppl, i believe that i noe who is realli a good frenz. serious.
anyway, on a lighter mood, going for the induction program for SMA tml morning, was so glad that i pass thru the final stage. CV gonna look very nice now. haha.
and also, i wun be coming online so often, so anyting, just leave a tag or email me. i will try to get back to u guys asap.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/31/2007 04:10:00 PM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Monday, January 29, 2007
Friends are not like hotels...
i saw this article on Ivan's blog, which i find very interesting. have a read, and think, which side are u? well, how true is this article? do u find similarity abt it in urself, be it whichever side u are on? getting hurt by a frenz is worse den bein hurt in a rs.
" 2nd article from Janice Wong's book - SPG: Single Picky Girl
She used to be my classmate. We shared the same hobbies, borrowed each other's lecture notes and had long telephone conversations.
All that changed when she had a boyfriend. She would cancel our appointments whenever he asked her out.
The first time it happened, I shrugged it off and even squealed in excitement for her. The second time it happened, I was annoyed but only remarked casually that I seemed to be on her B-list of friends. The third time it happened, I swore never to ask her out again.
She did not make amends. I guess the growing distance between friends can't be felt when one seems joined at the hip with one's partner and have him as a companion for all of one's activities.
Then, they broke up. She called me in tears at midnight and I consoled her. All was forgiven. It felt good to put aside petty misgivings and stand steadfastly by a friend in times of adversity. Isn't that what friends are for?
Our friendship resumed. But when she found another man, suddenly, her weekends were reserved again. Whenever I called her, she sounded preoccupied and anxious to get off the phone. Later, she became completely incommunicado.
A year later, I got a call from her; she was distraught. She told me her boyfriend had dumped her and asked that we meet. I declined and ignored her subsequent calls.
I did not say what I was thinking: "My friendship is not a hotel. You don't walk in and out, as and when you wish."
No matter how head over heels in love I may be -- and no matter how a man's charm may make my hormones rage -- it never gets to the point where he takes priority over my close friends.
It's a no-brainer. My friends have proven their mettle and stuck with me through thick and thin, while he has merely entered the picture with goodness-knows-what intentions.
Even if I were married, being with my husband would still not override time spent with my close friends. I know of people who stop seeing certain friends or resort to seeing them on the sly just because their spouses do not approve of them doing so.
A spouse will never be able to support one's emotional needs entirely and he or she has to understand that some of these needs will have to be met outside, by friends.
Friendship brings other problems. As my social circle widens, I find it increasingly difficult to discern who my real friends and fair weather ones are.
I often feel I am invited to parties and sought after as a friend for no other reason than that I am a journalist and can, hopefully, be a means to free publicity.
The more people I know, the lonelier I feel. I am a sentimental soul who prefers the comfort of old friendships which hark back to a time when I was simply Janice, minus the fancy title and trappings.
This is why I am not entirely sure that I did the right thing by quitting that friendship. Was I too demanding? Should I have given her a second chance?
After all, we really got along and it was not like she committed something treacherous like cheating me of my money, betraying a secret of stealing my boyfriend.
Still, I have had enough of being taken for granted. Being single and available does not mean my time is any less valuable than hers.
When it is consistently a case of one person giving and the other person taking, it is time to take stock of the friendship and, perhaps, call it quits.
Like courtship -- or even more so --friendship requires time, effort and reciprocity. While other parties can demand commitment of each other directly, the expectations in a friendship are usually implicit, subtle and unsaid, and as a result, more prone to neglect.
You may love your friends very much, but if they don't hear from you for an extended period of time, it's only human nature that they wonder just how much you really care about them.
As the late civil rights leader Martin Luther King Kr said: "In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
Don't misunderstand me. Couples who are newly in love are naturally consumed by each other to the exclusion of everything -- and everyone -- else. I don't begrudge that. I certainly didn't expect my friend to pay as much attention to me as she did when she was single.
I also accept that when life exerts its pressures and one's career picks up pace, some friendships fade away. I would be happy to rekindle such friendships. What I bristle at is being relegated to a nobody when romance calls and then being treated like some sort of stop-gap measure when it ends.
So let's take some time out this week to have a drink with a dear old friend, say "How are you?" and be sincerely interested in finding out.
I have never been so busy or so popular to the extent that I have no time for an old friend.
Nor, I pray, will I ever be so.
Mar 14, 2005
The Straits Times
*So, who should I call first...?* "
Considered for a second about our love at {1/29/2007 11:35:00 PM}
(1) comments
_________________________________________________________
Ruby Room ....
just got back from Ruby Room in Burswood, was there with Bernard, Pauline, Luca, Yen and Elise. well, nth much happen, just bumpin into some ppl. haha. i realise that i reach a stage of bein able to slp in clubbin area. or maybe i shld become security. haha. instinct was at a peak, was literally continously scannin the dance floor while dancin. haha.
dun tok abt the stamina, hmmm, dance movements are gettin rusty. old. hmmm....
had supper at Fast ed, and now back. gonna rest soon, as tml will be a busy day. lotsa tings to do, and hope i dun hav to be homeless by wed. hmmm.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/29/2007 02:22:00 AM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Sunday, January 28, 2007
退後
Composer: Jay Chou (周杰倫) (周杰伦)
Lyricist: Devon Song (宋健彰) (宋健彰)
天空灰得像哭过
离开你以後
并没有更自由
酸酸的空气
嗅出我们的距离
一幕锥心的结局
像呼吸般无法停息
抽屉泛黄的日记
榨干了回忆
那笑容是夏季
你我的过去
被顺时针地忘记
缺氧过後的爱情
粗心的眼泪是多余
我知道你我都没有错
只是忘了怎麽退後
信誓旦旦给了承诺
却被时间扑了空
我知道我们都没有错
只是放手会比较好过
最美的爱情
回忆里待续
i just feel that this song's lyrics is kinda meaningful. taken into consideration, that everyone in life hav to go thru this stage at sometime.
one ting is that, it can apply to frenzship too, every love songs doesnt hav to be just due to relationship. on a certain lvl, rs is easier to let go, by just saying " lets break up", however, frenzship, u can just say that. it takes more courage to break a frenzship rather den a rs.
tink out of the box, tink in the aspect of frenz. u may find anor meaning to this song. hmmm....
Considered for a second about our love at {1/28/2007 02:01:00 PM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
A bunch of irritating grown ups that act like kids....
okie, that is my main focus of today's update.
just got back from work, and guess what, i am seriously drained out. why???? simple... the story begins.
started work at 430pm, standard opening of shop. nth fancy, anticipatin a grp of 40 ppl coming in at 630pm. getting ready and all, mentally prepared that it will be a fuckin busy nite.
the scenario is that, due to the hot summer weather, and the weird layout of the restaurant, the second level is super hot. in order to cater to the need of those 40 ppl, my manager went to get 3 coolers to be put upstairs, so that they can eat in a more colling environment.
anyone with a common sense noe that, in order to keep the room cool, u hav to shut everyting down. close the windows. and also, this coolers used up a high voltage of electricity, and in order to prevent power trip, we had to shut down the fridge and freezer.
everyting was alrite, the floor was kinda cool when they arrive. the entree dish was sent, and they started to act as if it was still hot. so some smart alec try to solve the prob. by requesting the central air to be on. even though we explain to him that that particular air duct onli ejects hot air, he claim that he is a engineer, and he deals with more den hundreds of similar cooler.
so fine, follow his instructions, on the central air, also open all the window. instantly the whole floor became like a sauna. so that smart alec try to fiddle arnd with the cooler, but stupid idiot, we alreadi told him that it is a cooler not a fucking air con. duh.
so he called my boss up, asking why is the three coolers ejecting hot air. so my boss had to close the window again, and stop the central air. indeed it works, but due to the fact that, the layout of the second floor, dun allow good ventilation, therefore it takes a long time to cool down the place. so that smart alec try to be smart again. he claim that if it is not workin, open the window again. he even insulted and humilated my boss in front of the rest of the grp.
even i cant take it. the way they are acting is like a fuckin bunch of 3 yr old kids. fuckin disgrace man. they tink they are smarter den the younger generation. fair enuf, they do eat more salt den rice. but so wat, tryin to be a smart alec at the age when u are almost balding.
and the consequences of them opening the window and everytin, well, they literally turn the whole restaurant into a sauna. and subsequently when they left, the remaining patrons had to suffer lor. idiots.
no offense, but a whole bunch of idiots that believe in CHrist. i nv noe the Bible taught this kinda behaviour. even tried to make it sound like it is acceptable. haiz.
u guys may tink that i am rash, but 100% if u are the one meetin them, i bet u will be swearin at them liao. if not u will be at least shakin ur head and say, "god bless ur children". no pun intended.
not a good day, but yeah. hope everyone dun follow into this kinda foot step. goodness, save the world man.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/28/2007 12:43:00 AM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Running Away .....
" When there is no expectations, there is no disappointment.
building a high wall arnd the hrt, to prevent getting hurt.
Yet, a hrt without sunlight and air, will start to die.
i ignore that, telling myself its ok.
Although surrounded by grps of frenz,
although having jam packed schedules,
Loneliness always kicks in
in the middle of the fun.
Running away can be tiring,
who doesnt want the other half to acc?
however, the fear kicks in.
The fear of happiness being fake,
the fear of cant take the pain after losing.
the more gentle u are,
the deeper i will sink,
the higher chance i wanna run away,
to leave you before i love u too deep.
as time goes by,
i kinda forget how to love anymore. "
adapted and translated....
well, been scrolling anrd blogs, and found interesting tots,
cant help it but to translate it and share with u.
dun worry, its not abt me. haha. i am alrite. i just felt that it is quite meaningful lor. and seriously, it has been a long time i seen a certain lvl of chinese language. so i was kinda overwhelmed with those words.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/24/2007 11:46:00 PM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Do U have someone like this in Ur Hrt?
maybe you've been in love, maybe you like each other,
but why aren't you together?
maybe is becoz of peer pressure, he nv chased u;
maybe becoz of family pressure, you aren't together.
maybe becoz going overseas study, he dun wan u to wait for him;
maybe you guys met too early, didn't noe how to cherish;
maybe you guys met too late, there is alreadi anor half.
maybe you turn back too late, he isnt waitin anymore;
maybe you guys are testin each other's hrt, yet didnt still cant pass the line.
however, even though you guys are not together, you guys are still frenzs;
but in your hrt, you noe u are caring more den a frenz shld.
Although you can officially hold hands while shopping;
but you guys can tok anyting under the sun.
If there is someone he like, you would say that you help him chase;
but in ur hrt, you dunno whether u realli want him to chase.
if he met with problems, you would do watever it take to help him;
you wun care who owe who.
If the other half get jealous;
you will say that you two are just frenzs,
yet in ur hrt, there is a tinge of doubt.
there will be this special someone in everyone's life;
very contridicting behaviour.
you guys entered this frenzship reluctantly in the beginning;
but as time pass, you suddenly realise this is the best.
you would rather care for him like that,
which is better den having to break up one day;
you would rather be his frenz,
where you wun get jealous, hence able to chat everyting under the sun.
and becoz of this, you will always noe that, he will care for u forever.
since you two cant be together; be his that someone special,
wun it be better?
Do u have someone like that in ur life? who is it?
A lot of rs, ended becoz of one sided love, which results in broken frenzship;
you will feel that it is not worth it.
A lot of frenzship, becoz of no reactions to the sentence "i like u",
resulted in a stagnant or even declining frenzship.
And maybe is due to these reasons, why a lot of ppl wun wanna step across the line.
Becoz this is a gamble, by being frank, either you get together or you wun even be frenz.
There are a lot of tings that u cant predict,
maybe he dun mind, and the frenzship still goes on.
but still it wun be as good as before,
wat a waste, wat a regret.
but maybe there is a third option, you guys are frenz for the rest of your life,
yet reluctantly?
(End)
i saw this para of words in Apple's blog. i kinda translated it from chi to english, so pardon the grammer.
i feel that this is very meaningful, maybe is becoz i hav that someone. have a tot abt it. interesting.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/23/2007 11:57:00 PM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Update ....
okok, dun kill me la. i noe i haven been updating as regularly as before lor. busy la.
basically last week went in a daze. kinda nearly lost the time and date. Strat mgt is not fun, esp in summer. if i haven taken it before, i guess i will be dead now. report gonna due in one week time. wtf. hang in there, finishin soon
but got anor PR 393 internship to worry abt. den is graduation. fuck la, sound like i dun have any life lor. well, look forward and not back. there is no turnin back now. dun turn back. ahhhhhhh. fuck up.
after workin so hard, i realli dunno what i am workin for. i kinda lose my direction for a moment. but i tot of my own choice, i have to hang in there. slowly, i gettin to feel the sacrifices. testin my limits, makin me sway, i must stand strong. if not all the hard work will be gone.
sacrifices, a tinge of uneasiness reaches the hrt. it stayes. it felt like a piece of rock stuck in the corner of the hrt, it stay put, just pressin on it. ahhhhhh. it created lotsa questions, it attempt to sway me. by askin me the question, "is it worth it?"
simple quest, yet till now, i am not 100% sure.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/23/2007 11:43:00 PM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Crabbing .....
okie, just got back from having crabs at ANthony's place. coz me, Steph and him went to catch crabs today, haha. went all the way down to Mandurah. hmmm. well, i reckon it is the start of the season, so kinda the crabs are smaller size den wat we caught last yr.
apparently, i tink i am so kind in a way that i missed 2 big crabs and got little ones. haha. i need practice. haha. just the feelin of bein back there again was real good, esp when is with the same people. haha. one yr past so fast. haha.
before that, went for class this morning, yeap, i nearly dozed off, 4hrs straight class realli is tough, and ppt is due next sat. haiz. after that had lunch at Joy Garden with my grp mates. been a long time i haven eaten dim sum.
was supposed to have mahjong session now, but apparently got flew aeroplane by one of the "legs" so cancelled. haiz. kinda good in a way coz i am seriously drained out. haha.
this is how i pass my off day on a saturday. keep it packed and fruitful.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/14/2007 12:34:00 AM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Love my baby ....
okie, basically, my baby is not blind anymore. haha. i finally manage to grab the headlight for it now. haha. so happy. although had to travel quite a distance, but it is worth it. haha.
anyway, went to had lunch and walk walk with STeph at Garden City in the afternoon, so much for shopping, cant find anytin lor. haiz. haha. den rested a while before joinin Nick for dinner at Hawker's lor. realli hav to find a apartment to move soon. alreadi middle of the month liao. haiz.
dunno what else i need to do. everytin seem to vroom past without any hint. damn. soon, frenz will be back to perth, and summer gonna end. haiz. hang in there. gotta do all the preparation now. headache.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/11/2007 07:45:00 PM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
A New Hairstyle ....
yeap, i have a new hairstyle again. cant find a way to pamper myself, so went to do my hair.
cant seem to be huge diff, but take a look closely, see my tail???? it became orange in colour. well, it tend to be reddish orange la. haha.
dun look at my face, coz i took the photo when i came back from work. stupid eye bags. haiz. for my future, i shall endure. yeap.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/10/2007 12:03:00 AM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
Sunday, January 07, 2007
A New experience ....
okie, been workin the whole week after NY. nth much to update abt work. maybe changin job soon. see how it goes la. been workin so hard for the whole of Dec, and suddenly feel like takin a break lor.
Summer class started this morning, well, i shld be able to get thru it pretty fast. den there is the supp paper for PR corp. i will get thru. after class today, went for lunch with my grp mates and one of the parents lor. headed down to Burswood, this restaurant called "Allure". the atmosphere is not bad, but i reckon will be better at night coz they playin jazz music. haha. kinda let ppl wantin to slp in the afternoon. thru the glass window is the swimmin pool lor. haha. the food is just so so, well, but the pricin was not so so. luckily, got a treat from the parents lor. if not my pocket sure burnt big hole one. haha.
well, a lot of tings happened in one way or anor to start the new yr. there may be change of directions at the end of the yr. keepin myself in tip top mindset will allow me to adapt to the changes easily and quickly.
new yr resolutions:
- secure my future
- go Taipei for NYE with Jack
- go NZ for my grad tour
- change my mentality in some matters, esp the matter of hrt
- calm myself even more to reach the stage of "still water"
- continously upgradin myself to make me more attractive in jobs
- go back spore for the good foods
well, like i say, 2007 is a very impt yr to me, therefore the resolutions above are just a few on top of my head. the pressure is on, priorities set, geared for battle. the strength that comes from within is the most substainable and i am tryin to increase it.
frenz, if i tend to neglect u guys this yr, pls forgive me. let me be selfish for myself, it is realli impt to me. i am equipping myself to get ready for the next stage of my life, if i fail, i will crumble, and i will never be the person u guys noe.
i said before, if at the end of the day, i am forced to go back to spore, i will not be happy at all. the land of opportunities lies in Aus not spore. i dun wanna slog my entire life and not enjoy it. neither do i wan my parents to slog their remaining lives.
in yr 2006, i am still evolving, from the slacker into someone who can take on responsibilities. i hav forego a few tings in my life, which i deem useless or waste of time. i had stumbled along the way, crawling in the down times. 2007 is the yr where i will stand up for myself, control my own destiny, rather den fate. a survivalist i am, i will survive thru the hard times, and grow stronger.
to my frenz, i wish u guys can stand by me thru this, but if u deem that u cant, its ok that u leave, i will understand. i am just glad that our path met.
Considered for a second about our love at {1/07/2007 03:17:00 AM}
(0) comments
_________________________________________________________
