been almost 4 months i have been in perth.... i rem when i fly off, i told myself to start anew... to forget the past... to find my old self.... but till this day.... i realise... it is not as simple as i tot it will be... i tot it will be a turning point in my life.... but up till now, it doesnt seem that way....
there is someone whu i realli wanna tok to... to clear up tings.... coz the knots is still in my hrt....
we knew each other way back some time, i didnt know that you will be one person whu will change me forever. we were good, sharing times, weathered all kinda of situations. maybe i was too naive, but i always tot that we were good frenz.... until that children's day.... the world came crushin on me.... i hate u ... i decided to leave u.... why did u come back? .... even till now we still look as normal, but i know, i cant trust u again.... i realise that we are different in several areas, and i didnt know why i know u in the first place.
because of you, i neber trust not only me, but everyone arnd me. becoz of you, i lost faith in frenzship. becoz of you, i lost my way. becoz of you, i learn the hard way.
up till now, when i tink back of those tings that we do, and that comment that was made, it still hurt. the once-outgoing me was gone. why did u hav to hurt me when i least expected u to? of everyone arnd me, why must it be u? why do i hav to feel responsible for what i am now?
there is a barrier between me and those arnd me now.... i hate the feeling... i became so precautious of every move arnd me, that i feel so tired. i neber noe how to distrust ppl, and till now, i still hate the feeling of that.
i neber look down on anyone, and i trust that you wun. but why did u have to prove me wrong? i always believe that you are not someone whu will become so snobbish despite how u were brought up. i always tot that u wun hurt me. but why did u have to do otherwise?
do u noe the feelin of being stabbed or betrayed by someone whom u least expected, whom u trusted the most? if u knew, why did u have to do that on me?
i am now afriad ... becoz of u.
there was no compromise in ur dictionary, nor there was give. i realise that i have lost a lot of tings, partially is due to u. and the chain reaction is even up till now. why did u have to come back into my life? why did u have to grasp on my handle when u come back? why did u have to treat me in such a way that make me have a regret in my life?
when i decided to give up on u, i was rebuilding my life, it was painstaking. but i told myself that, u are one mistake in my life. it was a turning point. a point of no-return. all was goin well, when u came back. i have to protect that life that i rebuilt, coz i dun trust u anymore. u send the world crashin down on me once, and i dun wan it to happen a second time.
but what is a frenzship without trust? it is not a frenzship at all.... u make me lost the trust in u. i gave u chances to rebuild that trust, but u decided that it is not a priority. u realli make me see how evil can a person be. i promise myself that i will never get hurt by u again.
when will i start to trust ppl arnd me? when will i start to take frenz seriously? when will i face my fear? time didnt heal the wound that u inflicted, as it is too deep.
Considered for a second about our love at {11/10/2005 12:15:00 AM}
Oh man... you always have me. :) call me or what la. i still care, just far away that's all. And i have a terrible memory. What date are you coming back? Call me!
# posted by Anonymous : 1:49 AM, November 12, 2005
: 1:49 AM, November 12, 2005