been a super tough week in terms of work. discovered a few weakness i hav to change in terms of not bring personal to work, and vice versa. my temper is comin out like nobody biz. flarin out at frenz that care. it just the amt of stress that is bubbling in me. ventin it on the ppl that i care, realli hurts me. even though with a fair mind that they will take it, the guilt just cant seem to go away.
cant say that i dun wan a holi, esp after seein frenz comin back refreshed and recharged. but i noe i cant let go now. as much as i wanna just dropped everytin, go for a short break. yet situation doesnt allow me to.
each battle just comes like a wave, after this, the next one is alreadi up in the face. kinda had the feelin that i hav to keep peddling, a break, and i will drowned. i will go insane. i will lost control. didnt noe why i had to face all these, yet i noe i wun give up. whether it is stubborn, or it is the desire to win, it just keep me goin and goin.
to turn back time is a wishful tinking, to plan success is a torturous tinking. like mum say, bite ur lips and force ur way forward.
it had been commented that i might be sacrificin too much for my goal. and at the end of the day, even when i hav achieve it, i might hav lost everytin else. is it worth it?
to hav someone to lean on, to hav someone to be there, to hav someone to fuss abt, to hav someone. all this hav been goin thru my head in the midst of all the tings i have been goin thru. yet didnt noe why i just cant allow that distraction, i just cant allow that little symphony, not even a moment. hrt's desire is gettin stronger, yet mind power is gettin weaker.
cant tink of it, cant tink of it.
Considered for a second about our love at {7/16/2007 01:47:00 AM}
