isnt human funny? call it crazy, self-torture. wat am i talkin abt? well, such a cold weather, and i do mean cold, 4 degrees out there, and i had ice kacang. hmmm, crazy.
bday comin up in a few days, however, not much anticipation. why? coz hav been told that i am near 30 yrs old, bloody idiots. that sound so scary.
plans wise, well, nth much confirm, except for fri. not much grand plannin or spreadin over a few days. kinda dun see the pt to. dun see the pt to be the planner of my own bday.
anyway, almost half my life gone. sound so depressin, but u nv noe, it might even be at the end. was kinda wonderin, if i lost my memory tml when i wake up, will it be much better? will i still hav pieces of memory that will stay? will everyting just disappear, will i be the same?
if given a chance to turn back time, will there be decisions i will reverse, and how far back will i turn? if given a chance to go into the future, will there be ting i will want, and how far ahead will i go?
if given a chance to ask god a question, what question will i ask? if given a chance to end someone's life, will it be mine?
so many if, but to priorities it, well, i will choose to lose my memory. been tinkin of that for some time, will i give up all my memory? even the good ones? well, for me now, i rather lose everyting, and start afresh. a survivalist will survive.
this whole yr hav been a mess, with so many decisions made, so many directions taken, so many rushin abt, so many mistakes, so many regrets. let it begone, let me start over again. when am i givin myself the third chance to start again? i screwed up the second chance, in less den 2yrs.
unless it is fated that i will be a loner forever, i need the third chance. lessons are to be learnt, consequences to be taken, hurt to be mended, burden to be let go. what else will there be, for me to accomplish, before i give up?
cant tink, goin slp.
Considered for a second about our love at {8/12/2007 11:44:00 PM}
