i tink i am my own psychiatrist, my own fortune teller, my own doctor, my own kryptonite, my own downfall, my own motivator. i feel i could pretty be master of all trades in the world, in my world. it is wat i call, "that time" again, no it does not coincide with the monthly visit or the hormones unbalance crap ting.
give a little time + a little emo + a little lose control + tiredness = "that time"
i realize the symptom straight away, was smokin on the balcony, just standin there, staring at the night scene, phrases just float into my brain. just that sense of loneliness creepin in, tried to laugh it off, laughin at myself. i know give it a couple of days and i will be fine. i hate that feeling, coz it just made me reflect onto tings that i dun want to, tings that i rather not tink abt, tings that i rather keep it away for the rest of my life, or maybe until i have the courage to face it again.
stupid tots will come thru, silly tots too. tots that will made me lose rationale and sensibility. tots that will made me feel useless, helpless and wonder why the hell am i still alive.
just need a little spark, and i will be headin into a one-way destructive path. to be able to type this out now, i need to get it out of my system, gonna be tough the next few days, but i tink i will be able to pull thru.
of all the tings i have done, of all the path i have chose, of all the lies that have been said & told, of all the tears that have been shed, of all the laughter shared, of all the anger vent, of all the frus built, of all the regrets, of all the hurt, it is my life, i hate myself.
Considered for a second about our love at {10/12/2008 11:37:00 PM}
