Can This Be Love? .... Maybe.

Monday, November 27, 2006

YESH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first ting, i finally pass my driving test this morning, well that is the most difficult tingy of the entire learning drivin process, and i realli fly thru it. haha. at least i am movin towards my plans liao. haha ..... that moment when the examiner say "u pass", the feelin is undescribable. seriously. finally my wish is bein fulfilled. although late, but is better den nv lor.

was hype up the whole day, even though i onli had 4hrs of slp. join Steph and Evelyn to go arnd to find an entertainment unit for eve's tv lor. haha. freakin hot weather. we had lunch at Makan Makan first. den proceeded to Carousel, WA Salvage den to The Good Guys in Canning Vale lor. haha. ended up, i bought myself anor pillow again. this bring the total number of pillow to 5, currently on my bed. haha.

had dinner at Anthony's place, and man, it was seriously a huge feast man. haha. we had teriyaki chix wings, black pepper beef with mushrooms, roast pork with asparagus and the best of all, ABALONE Herb SOup....... haha ... full full full.

consider a good day for me, which i am very grateful of. gotta go slp liao. will be a jam packed wk for me, and i guess i better be a good gal and go rest liao la. haha. nitez peeps.

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Freo Art Festival ....

okie, today went by super interesting. step by step update la.

first, had my drivin this morning. hmmm, nervous sia. but ok la. haha. was "loiterin" in the hse waitin for my phone to ring, got the instinct that programs will come out later in the afternoon. haha.

as expected la, Nick called arnd 3pm, and jio me go Freo Art Fest lor. hmmm, but first, went to Makan Makan to have lunch first lor. haha. headed straight down to Mosmon Park train station to take the train to freo lor. coz diff to find parkin at freo la.

i reckon it is a small fest lor. but still, the live band were good. and so were the Punjabi Dj. haha. Dunno what got into Nick's head, he pulled me straight into the dance crowd and we just started dancin lor. haha. but the problem is, he forget to locate where the speakers are lor, literally next to my ear. after dancin for abt 1 hr plus, we surrendered liao. haha. first we were too tired, old liao, but we goin half deaf liao. haha.

stayed in freo till abt 9pm, watched the guy who play with fire and sparkles, observin the crowd. realli interestin to see whole family dancin lor, mum, dad, auntie and grp of kids. haha. also, i saw this huge dog that hav a face bigger den mine, also lotsa cute little kids lor. haha.

after that, went to Hotel Ibis in city to meet Nick's frenz lor. apparently that frenz is goin away lor. had half a pint of beer, and was chattin with the manager of Hungry Jacks South Lake, he used to be a tour guide in spore lor. haha. interestin lor. haha.

headed down to Hawker's for dinner and den played pool with Nick's frenz at Pot Black lor. hmmm, finally someone teaches me the tricks liao. haha. now, playin pool is more challengin liao. haha. we even set a challenge 2 yrs later. haha.

came back just now, gotta slp early, tml is a impt day. i need to rest liao. haha. oh ya, forget to brin camera today, so didnt take photo lor. haha. but it is sure an enjoyin day.

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Sunday, November 26, 2006

Hungry ....

great, wat a good ting to say in the middle of the nite in perth. damn.

anyway, update time,

friday, went to work lor. nite shift somemore, fuckin busy man, hit 10k sales lor. oooooo..... but i swear everyone of us is drained out. haiz. after work met Nick and Maddox for dinner at Hawkers again, den went to Pot Black to play snooker lor. hmmm....

today, dunno why i woke up at 6am, fuck, body clock kinda tuned to 4hrs slp. shit. den woke up at 10am lor. dilly dally till 2pm for my drivin lesson. den after that met Evelyn in the city lor, apparently she wanted to get some stuffs be4 she go back lor. hmmm.... came back at abt 7plus lor. den ate the seafood fried rice that was in the fridge and watched movies on my laptop lor. haiz. dunno why whole body achin. hmmm. muscle ache lor.

tml got drivin in the morning, den guess i will continue be stonin at home liao. haiz. programs all dunno die where liao lor. haha. nth much to update lor. regular ones bah.

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Get to Know Me ....

been a realli long time i haven played those personality test liao. was looking at mt best frenz blog and kinda had the urge to try that quiz again. haha. so here is the results. didnt even change lor, haiz. so much for me bein a changed person i used to know, i am still an ESFP

You Are An ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's Your Personality Type?

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Exams over ....

okie, finished my PR Corporate paper yesterday, didnt wanna tok to much abt it. basically i tink i will fail, percentage is 90%. haiz. i tried studyin but it doesnt seem to help too much. basically crap thru the whole paper, and i neber noe that crappin will score distinction.

was in a super depressed mood after exam, went to find the uni counsellor to see the options i have in order not to repeat that unit, well, hav to wait till results out lor. will see how it goes lor. feeling realli down, there is no after exam relieved or anyting. haiz.

anyway, went to work after that, luckily was just conc on recovery. no heavy liftin of stock or watsoever. but the droppin of stock after store close did occur, and man, i was tired. met Maddox after work, went down to Hawker's for dinner den to Pot Black for snooker and pool.

was in a lucky streak considerin that normally he is a much strong opponent. hmmm, den saw Khai, the vietnamese frenz who brought me arnd durin my 1st visit to perth 3 yrs back. perth is so small after all.

Sam came to join us for snooker after that, and by the time i reach home was arnd 3am liao. hmmm. long day, but i tink i deserve it. coz work gonna pile up, and maybe startin a second job soon.

work keep me occupied and pass time, it stopped me from wastin my time tinkin of useless tings, and also make me so tired that when i get back, i will go to sleep easily. hmmm. and also, it let me earn money. wat a good cause for working. haha.

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Stressed up....

i give up on that paper tml liao. no matter how much i forced myself to read, the words just dun seem rite. damn. it just went thru my brain and slowly got lost somewhere in there. realli no confidence at all. hopefully i can bullshit it thru, but since when bullshit can get high marks, haiz, i tink it is a 80% failure paper liao. damn, fuckin gonna repeat it again, god bless me.

well, lets not tink too much abt that liao. gonna slp now, realli no mood liao. standin on the verge of depression again. the stress level is realli too high for me to handle. hanging thinly on that string, bloody stupid paper.

gotta go slp, and fuck that paper la.

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Tuesday, November 21, 2006

. . .

well, sunday went by with a whizz. missed the Air race completly, well actually not realli la. just that the Race is over but the Air show is on la. too bad la, didnt had transport down. anyway, had lunch with Nick at Makan Makan, den came back home to study lor. that is how i passed my sunday.

yesterday was even a more complicated day. had drivin lesson in the morning, den went for lunch with Steph & Eve at Carousel, den headed to work from Cannington Train. fucking down in luck sia. coz i rushed into the train without punchin the card, coz normally no operator one la. how i noe, bloody kenna check the moment i got into the train lor. ended up had to get off at the next stop lor, and waited for 10min for the next one. fuck. was kinda late for work also lor.

work was kinda tirin, coz was supposed to clear out the stock in the storeroom. the good ting is that no one interuptted me lor. so for 5 hrs, non-stop, arranging, rearranging and refilling stock lor. was totally drained out liao.

den after work, went to meet up with Silver at Hair Etc. lor, coz she doin her hair. slack a while den went to had dinner at Tra Vihn, vietnamese restaurant lor with Nick as the driver. haha. came back to my place after that coz she wanna do some final packin lor.

after that she proceeded to the airport, without realisin that i was in Jerry's car headin to the airport too. haha. she tot i goin uni study sia. haha. well, anyway, tings happened and she missed the flight, which is bad. hav to reschedule it lor, i came back with Jerry as he was actually supposed to pick up anor frenz from uni lor. kenna delayed by me lor. so pai sei. hmmm.

came back realli tired, was contemplatin whether to slp a not. but couldnt resist the temptation to slp lor. woke up, went for my drivin lesson, den came back and slp again. till just now. now gotta go uni and study liao kua. cant stay too late in uni, too dangerous liao. haiz. one more day to go lor, den i will be free from exams liao.

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

Car Drags ....

just got back from Carousel Fast Ed's. anyway, slept thru the whole bloody day when i was supposed to be at work, wtf. was seriously in blurry state lor. damn. gotta answer for it on monday when i go in. fuck. 2nd time within the month. damn.

anyway, join David and Bernard on a Charity Car Cruise organised by the Silvia WA car club. basically is to raise money for this guy name Adrian Lee, who had onli 6 to 7 months to live due to some terminal cancer. basically 2 stop points, one at Garden City den at Carousel.

after that, there was a illegal Car Dragging at Brookton Highway. cool, sth like wat is seen in the movie. it was realli fun. den i got a chance to sit in the front seat of a Nissan Skyline, and the driver speeded up to 240km/hr within 20 secs. can feel the wind just stick to my face. haha. another moment of forgettin watever that is on the mind, just indulge in the seconds of losin time. it lifted my mood up within that seconds. adrenalin rush i supposed. straight road ahead, overcomin the reactors lights, seeing the surrounding blurring behind u. just so hard to describe.

anyway, gotta rest, wonder will i be in time for the AirRace at South Perth tml?? hmmm, apparantly it gonna be a big event lor. haha. see how la. at 11am man. hmmm.... wonder wat are the programs tml? tryin to keep myself busy so that i wun start tinkin tings. coz i noe i am startin to start that vicous cycle again. damn. haiz. tryin to find sth to distract that distracted mind, noein that it will all pass sooner or later. or rather, i noe i gonna face it sooner or later, just deludin myself that it wun happen. haiz.

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Friday, November 17, 2006

BBQ

Was at a bbq this after at Matilda Bay with Carene and gang lor. i tink is kinda like a sendin off for some of them bah. coz they last sem liao, and is like. well, after exam also for them la. haha. interestin though.

woke up bloody early for my drivin lesson today, and send my hse mate to work lor. haha. lcuky gal, she doesnt hav to run all the way to the bus stop liao. haha. went on the expected test route and i realise that there are more tings to take note of, in order to secure the pass lor. haiz.

was out to hav dinner at Hawkers with Maddox just now, good for him la, considered grad liao. haha. didnt noe whats the occassion today sia, machiam the whole hawkers booked by ppl we noe lor. haha. played pool for a short while before accompanyin Nick to hav his dinner at Hawkers again. haha.

stopped by a corner of North bridge and there is this baskin artist lor. she sing quite well, and apparently she had this bunch of Aussie ppl appreciatin her lor. kinda joined in the fun after some time, i swear this scene will be stuck in my head, sth that u wun get it in Spore at all lor. the three of us were literally smilin all the way lor. kinda just let u hav a temp feelin of pure happiness. no worries, no troubles, no stress, no pressure.

coz workin tml, so is like, here i am, gonna grab some slp. today is realli a day that let me experience new tings.

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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Two down ....

yeah, just finish my PR(int) exam. this time round, spotted the questions again, laughin my ass off durin readin time. the difference this time is that i memorise the 6 case studies by hrt, fuckin apply into the bloody questions lor. used 2 answerin booklet lor. one for each question. u shld hav seen my grp mates sittin next to me, they were starin at me lor.

considerin that i neber attend class, and didnt even go for last lect, yet i look so fuckin confident and kept on writin lor. haha. actually is mostly crappin la. haha. yeah. haha. there is still rooms to crap lor.

went to get my assignment back from catherine, well, internal marks quite stable, so i tink i shld pass this unit lor. no worries man. met Karen to tok abt my PR 393 unit, hmm, look like i realli hav to secure the trip to eastern state to do lor. if not will have prob doin the report. hmmm.

and yeah, i drank 2 cans of red bull before i went into exam hall, and guess what, when i write, my hands is in sharp pain lor. haiz. that slowed down my pace quite a lot lor. nearly didnt manage to get out of exam hall before the last 15min. i said before, no way i gonna stay till the end of exam lor. haha.

the side effect of the drink is kickin in, fuckin muscle achin lor. half stoned lor. hmmm. gonna rest den later tonite go back uni to print out notes lor. better dun screw up that last paper sia. hmmmm...

anyway, didnt sleep well last nite, had super weird dreamz lor. hmm, realli weird lor. dreamt of me goin back to Jade fullerton to work lor. even rem those collegues faces very well lor. weird. super weird, even Yvette is there also lor, and she looked fuckin shocked to see me back there lor. haha. weird. dunno what does the dream imply man.

oh ya, small tsunami hit Japan last nite lor, 40cm lor. luckily for them lor, coz they were expectin a 2m high lor. well, at least they evacuated the low land ppl liao. so the rest of the countries is on high alert lor. hmmm. apparently there is a sea quake off course of Indonesia lor. tsunami alert is on lor. haiz, isnt 2006 gonna be a peaceful yr to end??

and George W Bush is currently in Spore doin political visit. 2 days of visit, meetin with the acting president who i seriously dunno who, and givin a major speech on the trade agreements with spore and most prob touch on the topic of the terrorism war in Iraq. and to top off that, dunno why they try to keep it such a hush hush, when they shifted the timing for the 'O' and "A' level exam, is so freakin obvious when Bush will reach spore lor. brainless. haiz.

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Lonely

in the midst of studyin for my PR int paper tml, in the abacus lab in uni. just felt the tinge of loneliness goin thru me. well, dunno why also, in the midst of reading the 6 case studies and 12 journal articles, my mind had the space for the tinge to flow in. weird. lookin at the ppl arnd me studying, 99% are with grp of frenz studyin together. and i am of the 1% that is studyin in the corner. damn.

had hesitation in coming to uni study, and i can guess one of the factors is that no one here to study with me. the mode of encouragment is not there for me to continuin to study. i noe that i cant study at home, coz i will be sleepin rather den studying. yet as the effect of the energy pill reducing, the tiredness falls in. and yet still lotsa reading to do. i also noe that if i stop now and proceed home to slp, i will not be able to study when the morning comes. being a night study person, have this weakness of losin concentration easily durin the day.

woke up this morning feelin a bit lost, maybe is becoz one of my close frenz gonna go back soon. with a huge hope that i will get to see her again, yet just a sense of helplessness to know that it may not be true. although this sem a lot of tings happen and we dun see each other everyday, yet the tot that she is still here, kinda kept the feelin strong. knowin that if ever i needed her, she is just mins away. yet once she gone back, we are 5hrs flight away, across the pacific ocean. the distance seem so appaling. although i can still call her, yet it just felt so different. although i will still sms her, yet the feelin that she cant be here still linger.

of great confident that she will be back, yet circumstances unfold and tough challenges up the road. hav i done wat i could hav? hav i cherish her as a frenz? hav i helped her thru all the tough times that she had? why am i havin doubts on this frenzship now? hav i put too much hope on her? or hav i had too much expectations? hav i took tings for granted? or hav i forget the fact that this is not our hometown?

why do i hav doubts in this frenzship? though thru the tough times, it stood strong. was it becoz both of us is still here? the distance apart was not significant? but once she goes back, the distance become significant. will this frenship pass this test? this test of unknown time limit?

i seen so much of what i didnt expect to see from her, i learnt so much of what i didnt expect to learn from her. yet is this the time for all this to end? we pass thru the many doubts that we encoutered, we gave each other the assurance in times of doubts, and we proved that we still stand strong. yet the huge factor of time and distance, will it change the nature of the frenzship?

to be honest, why am i having doubts, is becoz, i will miss her. as such a frenz that always stand by me thru the tough times, as such a frenz that always goes crazy with me no matter where we are, as such a frenz that will scold the hell out of me, onli for my own good. as such a frenz that understand me that i didnt expect her to. lotsa tings were unspoken, yet she manage to fathom what is in my mind.

the times that we spend together, were never moments of peace, either there will be friendly arguments or dead silence. yet just bein with her presence, no matter what we were doing, always make me happy. even though we may looked like try to tear each other's head off.

i wonder will i cry if i send her off at the airport? nv did i cry sendin ppl off at the airport, but this huge uncertainty of not knowin when will i get to see her kinda will trigger off the tear glands in my eyes.

it was then, that i realise, i forget to put into consideration of sending frenz off at the airport such an emotional ting to me, when i was contemplatin to study here. this factor realli hit me straight and hard. coz there is no mental preparation. one by one, all my close frenz here gonna go back. and i noe that i wun be goin back for some time.

of the most confident frenzship i had, is the one that went thru even much more tings with me. been years that we know each other, been hell lot of tings we went thru. we past the time and distance factor and though still in the process of strengthenin the broken links, it is of great confidence that this frenz wun go.

was in a down mood this morning, just couldnt get the mood to study. forcefully dragged myself to uni. and here i am, in the midst of studying.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/16/2006 12:19:00 AM} (1) comments
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006

One down ....

okie, basically finished my Asian Mgt paper this morning. quite an interesting one, coz it just proven to me that i still can spot questions quite well. but also prove to me that i am gettin old. not much of short term memory power left. haha. shld be able to pull thru bah.

oh ya, last nite i went uni to study, at first found a quiet spot in uni to study. considerin is exam period, and the labs are mainly busting with ppl. but after studyin for one hr, i gave up that spot. coz the bloody wind was blowin like mad. haiz. luckily went into one of the lab and is not much ppl. studied till 3 before i came back. the initial rush of adrenalin disappeared and i went straight to slp. haiz.

just now after exam, met Silver for lunch lor. Makan Makan again. fuck man, i gonna get sick of that place sooner or later. wanted to had a game of snooker, but didnt noe that LAQ changed hands and isnt open till evening.

so we ended up finding the dogs at Maddox's place lor. slack till evening den proceeded back to LAQ for snooker. grab Mac' on the way back, and here i am. haha. wonder when will be the next time we will play snooker together again. haiz. in terms of snooker, she is so far the best partner to play with lor. haiz.

i realised that i am losin interest in study liao, was diagnosis of not puttin that into my priority now. which incidentally hit the bullseye. keep hangin there, to get thru this sem smoothly, den finish up my strat mgt. the rest will be a whizz.

as much as i hoped to finish uni, i kinda wanna secure my future here. realise that there is a huge sacrifice that i had to make. time draw distance apart, which is true. no matter how much i feel that spore isnt a place for me. but kinda dun deny that i still hav my frenz back there. the longer i stay here, the faster the circles will break. at the end of the day, i may succeed in life, yet i hav lost a huge bunch of frenz. i noe, true frenzs stand by u all the way. but one ting, they will change, so will i. after years of not seein each other, we moved on with our life and our path may not crossed again. haiz.

one ting is true, frenz in perth come and go. coz after all, this is not their hometown. as much as they might wanna stay, sometimes is not within their control. every sem pass, sure to be someone's final sem. dun realli like the part of sending them off at the airport, noein that dunno when will be the next time u see them. haiz.

it was commented that the onli ting that i hav successfully achieve was to put rs aside and conc on other aspect of my life. well, been a rough year for me. cant deny that i was nearly taken down, but with the grp of frenz who cared for me, i became stronger and stood up. though wounded, still standing strong. i noe that, i am reachin anor major turnin point of my life, no way rs can be involved. den reality hits me back, one question hit straight into my face, when am i plannin to get married?

i used to jokingly said that i wanna shotgun when i was 21, yet due to the fact that i came over to study, i postphone it to 23. time flies and i am reachin 23, and i noe no way i gonna shotgun or even get into a rs. how long can i drag? used to tink that the ideal age was at 26 or 27. but lookin at my own future that i had in mind, there is no place for marriage till i dunno when. haiz.

although i officially enjoyed singlehood recently, no matter how strong i look in front of ppl. it cant be denied that sometimes, i just wished that there is someone there to lean on. however independent i am, sometimes, the fragile side of me will surface, and remind me that no matter wat, i am still human. it is the period of time that i hate most. it will lead into depression mode, and affectin other aspects of my life.

i dun deny frenz hav always been there for me, but bear in mind, ask the honest truth. wouldnt there be time when u hesitated to confide in a frenz, as u noe that they might hav other emotional commitments in their life, for example bf, gf? not that u dun wanna be close with them, but u noe that u hav to give them personal spaces. dun worry if ur answer is yes, coz i feel that way to. out of so many frenz i had, we may started out noein each other when everyone is single, but as time goes by, u see the frenz arnd u pairin up and left u alone, that feelin is realli undescribable. not jealousy, but is like, o, i tink i just lost a frenz. i am not sayin that i am selfish to ask ppl still stay the same but it is just a feelin. cant realli describe it very well. onli those who hav been thru it will understand.

or sometimes, is like "i wanna call XXX out, we used to go out so often, but do u tink XXX is free? what if XXX is with the partner and they hav plans out?, wun it be a bit weird???" "lucky i still can call YYY out, coz YYY doesnt hav a partner. still can find YYY to confide in without any worries of affecting much of YYY's life except for time." sounds familiar, i heard so many ppl tellin me that.

i realise most of our ideology is communitarianism, as we thought of other's before self, community before self. to much extent. of coz ppl will argue that these are mainly assumptions made by one party, but being brought up in a more conservative Asian culture, rejections may deem to be a loss of face or dun wanna reject ur frenz. it is the culture that was instilled in us ever since we were young. time change and the culture start to change, however, the baseline is still there. this will lead to a lot of misunderstanding and conflict. been there, done that.

maybe that is the reason why i pullin back, i noe i wun be involved in rs for quite a while, and ppl arnd me will start to get ready for family life. the pressure will be there, and i kinda retreat into solitude, kinda hopin that the pressure will give me a miss. haiz. i realised i had changed.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/14/2006 11:00:00 PM} (0) comments
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Monday, November 13, 2006

In the midst of War ...

well, i am well in the midst of war, so as to say. finals for the world challenge Capstone. why is it war? coz every hr, hav to make decisions. hmmm. not as easy as it sound. coz u hav to analyse competitors' strategy and guess what the fuck they tryin to do, den come out with ur counter strategy. haha.

adrenalin rush, cant realli feel the sleepiness. onli hungriness. considerin that i just had two bowls of rice at 10pm. damn. all this tacklin of strategy realli makin me hungry, luckily i got my supply of biscuit withnin reachable area. haha. and of coz my bottle of sugarcane and coke. haha. well-prepared till 6am. haha.

anyway, finally got my bday photos from Silver. yeah. so much of unspeakable memorable moments. hard to choose wat photos to post, for most of them is unseenable. haiz. quite cannot see light one lor. onli those been there seen it, and i swear they will neber forget for the rest of their life. haiz. i look at the photos, i also no face to see myself sia. haiz. wat a unforgettable memory lor. haha.

will post one of the not so "shameful" to give my frenz back home, a glimpse of the side of sharon that u neber seen before. haha. the rest of the photos shall not be shown man. haha. neither to say the video clip. haiz.

yeap, that is how good my frenz are to me in perth. haha. cant believe she actually sat on me la. goodness. haiz. mastermind of my tragic end. haiz. i swear i will take revenge.

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Sunday, November 12, 2006

Koala Gene ....

okie, that is how i felt i have in my system. bloody slept for the whole day liao. haiz. so much on wantin to study for exam. damn.

anyway, internal results are out, and i tink i gonna fail one unit again. bloody ass tutor. haiz. dunno what is fuck is wrong with that ass lor. nvm. it will be kind of a miracle if i can pull thru lor.

tml gonna be a long nite, why? capstone finals, startin at 11pm till 5am. but i gonna start on my asian mgt study liao. cant afford to screw that up lor.

nth much to update today, coz i slp the whole day. hmmm.

i need someone to make sure i study lor. been kinda floating lor. die liao la. cant i pass this sem peacefully? haiz.

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Saturday, November 11, 2006

Hesitation ....

well, that was how i felt today when i went to work. but ok la, everyting settled lor. next wk just workin on saturday nia. fair enuf la. can fully conc on my exam now.

missed the bus home just now, got fed up. called david lor, met him and his frenz at Time Zone lor. loiter loiter, den went Fast Ed's lor. haha. even Ziggy say he miss me sia. haha. that is realli long i haven been there liao.

oh ya, today, the city of perth had the xmas light up, but i look at the lights available, well, nth fascinating lor. just a xmas tree, den a few rolls of fairy lights. not big deal lor. haha. i tink now orchard road must be realli lit up liao. haha.

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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Rainy Day ....

okie, supposed to be rainy for the day, but apparently the guy up there decided to put it till evening time.

was supposed to go work today, but ended up missin work totally. cant believe 3 alarm clock didnt even manage to wake me up. goodness. anyway, went to Carousel with Steph lor, supposedly to grab pots and pan. but ended up getting pillow. haha.

den went to Riverton Big W to get my pots and pan lor. also dropped by the oriental shop to grab sugarcane and chrysanthamen lor. had dinner over at Anthony's place. baked chix and fried bean sprout. haha. yummy.

well, gotta rest early, coz tml working lor. luckily is not the 7am shift. if not i sure cry one lor. haha. guess i hav to tell them i couldnt wake up at all lor. haiz. mugging for exam??? good excusE?haha.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/09/2006 10:11:00 PM} (0) comments
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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Future directions ....

okie, first update.... was late for work today. didnt now why my actions were gettin a bit retarded. hmmm, is it becoz of the so called "lack of slp". considerin i slp 6hrs everyday since monday??? or my body is tired. hmmm.

was seriously a super busy day. hmmm, and it was kinda funny too. lotsa small funny tings happened and kinda make it an enjoyable day. haha. was supposed to off work at 3pm, ended up was at work till 4.

was chatting with Mark, in regards to my future directions after i grad. he made me realli start to tink thru all the possible scenarios, consequences and sacrifices that may be met. like i said to a frenz before, whatever decision made, there bound to be sacrifices, it is up to individual to decide whether they can take the sacrifices.

those who noe me well, noe that i hav kinda hav a brief plan of my future, in terms of the next 10yrs. i myself noe very well what are the sacrifices that i had to make in order to achieve what i planned for myself.

being selective of the advices that i was given, i chose the path and i am meetin a crossroad now. to achieve what i had planned, the path, in the eyes of many is considered very selfish, some even commented that i am forgettin my roots. to follow the other path will caused me to delay my plan for more den 5 yrs, but in the eyes of others, it is consider a more "human" path.

my main concern is still my family, after all this yrs of rebellious nature, i kinda realised that no matter how cruel is the society to u, family will never be the one that turn their back on u. cant say that i realised it too late, coz i hav alreadi achieve the realisation way before others arnd me. wat make me wanna choose the second path, is to spend more time with them.

to put it crudely, they may go anytime, maybe in the next 10 yrs, no one noes. not sayin that i am cursing my own parents, but this is the fact. lookin at it at an objective point of view, they hav done so much for me, never given up on me, supportin me all the way. shldnt it be time i start to repay them???

however, after voicin out the concern to my parents, they asked me to choose whatever path that i wan. my dad even told me go out there and strive, dun look back and regret. sometimes, it just made me realise the power of love from my family. they noe that i am a very ambitious person, and i cant be caged. they let me go and see me soar. my dad said, if the land out there is much greener, go, dun come back. why waste ur future in a land where the future is not as bright as there.

do they say it becoz they wanna let me go without so much guilt or they say it coz it is wat they wan me to? wat abt my brother, shld i start my life here and pave out a better life for him? or shld i leave him to strive for his own future?

the rest of the relatives, i cant be bothered abt them. this study overseas made me seen thru them, kinda despised them in a way. it made me see how narrow their mind were, how unsupportive they were. if they cant even be a role model themselves, good luck to the kids. teachin their own kids to look down on ppl, not givin ppl second chances. haiz. i will neber forget this lesson that i learnt from them, made me realise how good my parents were.

i used to tink that i am studyin now becoz i wanna prove to them that i am not as hopeless as what they percieved me to be. i was affected by the way they look down on me, but now, i cant be fuckin bothered by them. even my mum said, the path that i chose is my own future, dun hav to be affected by wat others say. it dun even need to be proven to anyone except myself. not even to my parents. ppl arnd will sure gossip abt it, let them be. listen but dun take it to hrt. esp if ppl hav intentions of all sorts.

kinda facin a dilema now, although more or less the decision was made way before hand. how shld i approach the path? every scenario played in my head continously, the consequences and sacrifices are listed. there are a lot of what if. but i noe that, if i dwell on it, there is no way i will moved. i will be stuck and i might end up not achievin what i wan.

was tokin to a frenz yesterday, which also kinda trigger all this tots floatin in my mind. i guess i had given the most objective advice i can, puttin aside all the other affectin factors. it was den that i realised that how fast i had went thru the obstacles that made who i am today. not self-complimenting. i gave a compilation of advices that i had recieved when i was at that stage, takin away all irrelavant factors. i do believe i had done a fair amt of in-depth analysis, and hav not pointed a specific route to be followed.

i reflected on what i said and i realised how matured i had grown, my tinkin had changed and my way of doin tings had differ from what i used to be. for me to be able to say it out to others without being shoot back, it just showed that i had been there done that.

i brought up an extreme scenario, which kinda show how selfish i can get, or anor way to put it, what are my expectations of my own frenz. and if this scenario actually pops up, i stand by my own path. onli frenz that are true will stand by me all the way.

the same scenario brought abt either a yes or no answer, yet the reasoning behind this is cant be fathom, onli by the beholder. it is just a scenario that list down the needs and wants of life, puttin an extreme twist and from there, define the priority. it is considered quite a high lvl of seriousness, or in summary, are u willing to give up one of the most impt ting in ur life to attain the other impt ting in ur life? sound like a forceful question, yet if u look beyond the question, it actually let u reflect and prioritize ur life. instead of attackin all at one go, which will seriously lead u nowhere. anor ting to keep in mind is that, be honest to urself.

i am now in the grey areas of the crossroads, as in i am still able to interhop between the paths. but soon i noe i will reach the point of no return. and till that time, i must had my mind made up and proceed on. still weighin out, still tryin to be realli honest to myself. coz i noe that, once i made up my mind, there will be no regret.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/08/2006 05:31:00 PM} (0) comments
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

New Haircut ....

okie, just got back. hmm, was at work this morning. den went to had my hair done. not realli an impulse yet wasnt realli planned. after a hair cut, felt refreshed. after a hair cut, felt pampered.

basically didnt change much of the hairstyle, and yeap, the tail is still there. haha. colour wise not much diff from last time, the diff is onli the length and the thickness of the hair. for all i wanted, was to pamper myself.

a new hair cut, time to rush along the route that i chose. feelin energized, feeling good. all worries that were uncalled for, were gone with the scissors cutting the edges off. realigned myself, to the route that i chose. no hesitation, nor regret.

apparently the company holdin a xmas party, and gonna hear abt the plan tml. hmmm. interesting though. anyway, restin now, goin play pool later.

enjoyin considerin the last day, before i settle myself down for exams. aside all those potential problems, watever there is, this is the time for my exams and nth else.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/07/2006 04:13:00 PM} (0) comments
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Monday, November 06, 2006

Movie

okie, just got back from movie with Steph and Evelyn. went to Carousel to watch "Step Up". well, not much plot, but interestin from a dance point of view. mixing ballet with Hip Hop. haha.

woke up at 6 this morning, to go to work. yeap, freaking blurry day. considerin the fact that i realli not used to wakin up so early. and the lamer ting is that Carillon City had a fire drill prac this morning. well, that is 10min of paid break lor. haha. realli lame.

came back from work, exhausted and heaty. weather changing from spring to summer, the temp increases and the heat gets trapped in the body. hmmm. rested and slept for 2hrs before Steph picked me up la.

watch movie till abt 9pm, den went to Makan Makan to have dinner. was chit chatting till now lor. haha. gonna check the results for the capsim world challenge, den goin to bed liao. gotta wake up at 6 tml also. hmmm. shld i go do my hair tml????

contemplating. see how la. haha.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/06/2006 11:54:00 PM} (0) comments
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Saturday, November 04, 2006

Windy day ....

okie, today started out as a good day, finally manage to recoup all the rest that i needed. haha. and today isnt that sunny as the past few days. haha. went for drivin just now, feelin more and more confidence behind the wheel. yeah.

oh ya, yesterday was a long day for me, ended up at work with me and my manager. coz little Lizz relative passed away and needed to go off early. haiz. poor gal. but well, we manage to do over target sales which is good news.

sales is pickin up realli fast, and it means very good news for all of us. coz we will get more HR budget, which means more workin hrs. haha. gonna be busy busy busy till jan....

well, i am now contemplatin whether to take summer course for Strat Mgt. considerin that if i go thru the summer course, den i will not be required to go uni at all when next semester start. haha. contemplating. but it also mean that i will hav to go class for 4 hrs two times a week in Jan. hmmm. early morning somemore. hmmm.... can i???? hav to discuss with my mum now. hmmm. and see what she says.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/04/2006 03:58:00 PM} (0) comments
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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Tiring.....

well, been a long long day. this is gonna be the final wk of classes. yeah, and boo. coz exam is just in 2 weeks time. hmm. time to sort out my notes to study. haha. this sem went just like a zoom. yeap. as usual.

interestin ting i saw today, when i got onto the train to get to work. i got a huge shock, two big size burly policemen were standing in the cabin. haha. not a usual sight lor. is not those railway patrol, but policemen with guns lor. and i realised every cabin had two of them lor. hmmm, who say that when u see policemen, u feel safe? all the more i see them, i feel super unsafe. coz it meant that sth is wrong. haha. alertness of danger increases when u see policemen lor. haha. is it becoz i been conditioned to tink that perth is much safer???? hmmm....

oh ya, i realise my blood is gettin thicker and thicker. which is not a good sign, it means lack of water lor. how did i noe??? well, apparently i cut myself quite deep today, didnt realise it was bleeding until i saw the cardboard stained with a huge patch of blood, abt the size of a spore 50cents coin. my right index finger was covered with blood. hmm. gross rite. but the funny ting is that, coz this customer was standin beside me and she kept starin at me, i tot she wanted to get the product that i was filling, onli after a long while, den i realise she noticed the blood alreadi. haha. i was like "oh, blood, ok, let me finish this first". haha. even after i rinse the wound under running water, and put a plaster on it, it continued bleeding for quite some time, had to change 3 plaster before it stopped. and yeap, bad habit of mine, i see blood from wound, first reaction is to suck it. well, first aid wat. stop the bleeding. haha. so i kinda tasted it, and realise it is quite thick. hmm, sign to drink more water. haha. yeap. haha.

after class, was out for dinner before coming back. den i realised i cant raise my right shoulder more den 90 degrees, if not can feel the pain in the muscle lor. hmm, damn. maybe i realli over estimated myself. haiz.

Considered for a second about our love at {11/02/2006 11:59:00 PM} (0) comments
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Name : Sharon Phang a.k.a Stone

Birthdate : 17th August 1984

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